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Vibrators owe two things to Sex and the City: Mainstream normalization and, unfortunately, the proliferation of some scary sounding myths. In a now-infamous 1998 episode the HBO hit, high-strung Charlotte confides to deep-thinking Carrie, “I think I broke my vagina…with the rabbit [vibrator]. I’m scared if I keep using it, I’ll never be able to enjoy sex with a man again.”
Well Char, it’s myth-busting time, and nearly 15 years later, it bears repeating: No matter how often you use it, you don’t need to stress about becoming wholly dependent on a sex toy to bring yourself over the finish line, and no toy time or vigorous solo session is going to desensitize your bits—at least not for long.
The myth is a frightening: Over-reliance on vibrators or other toys will reduce your sensitivity to that point that you’ll build up a tolerance. Soon, you’ll be burning through a series of ever more powerful vibrators, desperately chasing your next big O. In this scenario, you can’t get anything accomplished manually, let alone with a partner. Even just financially, that’s horrifying—vibrators ain’t cheap. Intimately and romantically, that’s also horrifying. Fortunately, it’s not actually a life-altering threat.
“This concern is extremely common,” said Matt Lachman, a certified sex therapist and owner of Cleveland Sex Therapy. People with vaginas who use vibrators do express concern about losing sensitivity, going numb, or even becoming “addicted” to their devices, he noted, but he’s seen those fears becoming less of a problem over the past decade or so, as open discussion of sexuality has become more mainstream.
Jenni Skyler, PhD and resident sex therapist at Adam and Eve, agreed, telling Lifehacker, “I don’t know how widespread it is anymore, with the internet debunking that myth.” Still, there are still a lot of people out there googling “dead vagina,” so let’s get into it. The discussion, I mean.
Alexandra Fine, CEO and co-founder of Dame, feels for worriers out there—and wants to help educate them. She said, “A big question we always get at Dame is, ‘Am I going to get addicted to my vibrator?’ From a scientific perspective, the answer is no – it doesn’t meet the criteria of what an addiction is. If many people are asking the same question, though, it’s important that we answer it correctly.”
There is a small kernel of truth to the myth that too much vibration or stimulation can zap your privates into a state of numbness—but if it does happen, it’s only temporary.
“Basically the truth of it is, yes, your nerve endings can be desensitized with overstimulation in the moment,” Skyler said. “So if you use a very powerful stimulation—a very powerful vibrator for instance— then your nerve endings are like, ‘Whoa, overload.’ That can certainly happen, but they recalibrate a few minutes later.” The myth that your nerve endings will be ground into oblivion—gone forever—is just that.
Lachman agreed that some numbness can be expected with overuse, especially if you’re using a high setting on your toy or going at it constantly, but compared the numbness to the temporary sensation of having a body part fall asleep. “It’ll come back 10 minutes or whatever,” he assured us.
There is a caveat worth noting, Lachman added: If you are exclusively masturbating with a vibe, your body may get used to that and come to expect release only from that method, “so when you have partnered sex or when you masturbate without a vibrator, it may be slightly difficult to achieve that orgasm.”
This temporary loss of sensitivity can affect people with penises, too, especially if they’re gripping really hard with their hand was self-pleasuring. (Please, don’t forget lube.)
Besides using lube to lessen the friction, you have a few options to avoid a temporary numbness or bounce back from it. Use a lower setting on your vibrator, for one, “instead of just putting that shit on a 10 and going to town,” advised Lachman.
Skyler recommends bullet vibrators, which are generally smaller and only feature one speed setting. If you experience numbness while you’re being intimate with a partner, she advises taking breaks as needed. (We’re sure you can think of other activities to keep you busy while you wait for your nerve endings to simmer down.)
Switch things up whenever you can, too. Fine explained, “If we’re always masturbating in the same way with the same products, we’ll start creating a strong pathway to pleasure that could become limiting. The concept of ‘fetish’ is a good example of this because if you really need a feather to have an orgasm, without that feather you may not experience pleasure. If we get so specific that we can only experience pleasure in one way, it can be problematic, so it’s important to have different vibrators and connect with our bodies to find pleasure in different ways.”
Katerina Lin, head of luxury sexual lifestyle brand JimmyJane, suggested that the easiest way to avoid the problem is to listen to your body. “Start with slow play, with yourself. Really understand yourself,” she said. Figure out how you respond to, and experiment with different pressures and paces. If you get too used to certain products or models, there are plenty of options out there. (JimmyJane, she notes, aims to create toys that simulate human touch more closely than ones made of other materials, so maybe that will change things up a bit).
Lachman also stressed the importance of being open with your partner. Explain that in your private time, you use a toy, so you might not come as easily during sex with them. An honest discussion beforehand can prevent them from feeling bad in the moment (even though, as we know, sex should be about pleasure, not the pursuit of an orgasm). And hey, maybe they’ll even be down to bring the device into bed so you can both enjoy it.
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Up to eight people can play Human: Fall Flat together online, and only two can play it locally, but it’s better to play it locally anyway. The intentionally kludgy controls for the Schmoo-like main dude, and the constant obstacles he faces, create slapstick humor better enjoyed with a friend. Also: You might need a second brain to solve the harder puzzles.
Available on: Windows, Linux, macOS, PlayStation 4, Xbox One, Stadia, Nintendo Switch, Android, iOS, Xbox Series X/S, PlayStation 5
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(Picture used for representational purpose only)
HYDERABAD: Justice T Amarnath Goud of the Telangana high court has convicted six officers in a contempt case and sentenced them to jail for six months along with a penalty of Rs 2,000 each.
The judge convicted IAS officers — A Santha Kumari (special chief secretary of environment and forest sciences) and D Amoy Kumar (Rangareddy district collector) — and IFS officers — R Shobha (principal chief conservator of forests) and Sunita M Bhagwat — and along with divisional forest officer Janakiram and additional collector and forest settlement officer S Tirupati Rao in the case and imposed jail terms and penalties on them.
The judge handed out the sentences for violating the court orders in a land case in Rangareddy district.
The judge handed out the sentences under the Contempt of Courts Act for violating the court orders issued in respect of 383 acres of land belonging to Mohammed Sirajuddin and nine others of Maheswaram mandal in Rangareddy district.
The land was sought to be converted into a reserve forest by dispossessing the owners of their property. Despite advice from the forest settlement officer that the action of the revenue and forest officials was not feasible and despite a court order to either acquire the land or return the same to the owners, the officials had failed to do so inviting contempt of court charges.
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Sources said developers hit upon this idea after making efforts to sell undivided share of land in unapproved layouts and unregistered venture projects with Telangana Real Estate Regulatory Authority (RERA) to gullible buyers. (Picture used for representational purpose only)
HYDERABAD: The Telangana municipal administration and urban development (MA&UD) department has told the registration and stamps department not to register farmland or plots below 20 guntas (2,000 square metres).
The move comes after officials realised some property developers were registering open plots in illegal layouts in the name of ‘farm plots’. Unauthorised layout registration was banned by the state government in September 2020.
Sources said developers hit upon this idea after making efforts to sell undivided share of land in unapproved layouts and unregistered venture projects with Telangana Real Estate Regulatory Authority (RERA) to gullible buyers.
The developers were trying to take advantage of the fact that one does not need a layout copy to register agricultural land. “Besides stopping registration of farm plots below 20 guntas, we have also asked the registration department to insist on the layout copy if a farm plot abuts a new road,” MA&UD department principal secretary Arvind Kumar told STOI.
He said the decision to stop registration of plots in unauthorised layouts had paid dividends and the government was able to control illegal ventures across the state. The government banned registration of non-agriculture properties not having either a layout copy in case of open plots or a sanctioned plan in case of buildings.
Following this decision, thousands of layouts, which were developed without seeking approvals from the civic bodies, were stuck as layouts and plots could not be regularised under the layout regularisation scheme (LRS). Soon after banning illegal plots, 25 lakh applications were filed under the LRS, an official said.
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HYDERABAD: Two persons, which includes a Nigerian national, were arrested by cybercrime sleuths of Rachakonda police for allegedly conning many persons in the pretext of providing jobs, matrimonial alliances and others.
The accused, Fidelis Obinna, a Nigerian national and his accomplice Anil Kumar Pandey were arrested from Delhi and police seized 4 mobile phones, 13 cheque books of different bank accounts, 65 debit or ATM cards, 19 swiping machines, Republic of Nigeria passport, Rs 30,000 cash from them besides freezing Rs 6.27 lakh cash in bank accounts.
Obinna first came to India on a visiting visa. Later, from his Nigerian friends in India, he learnt conning people by befriending victims through social media. Obinna befriended Anil Kumar to use latter’s banking accounts to withdraw the ill-gotten money earned by cheating victims.
The accused, to deceive the victims, used to create fake social media accounts using photographs of Europeans. He duped several victims by assuring them to provide jobs or cheat the victims by promising to marry after collecting money, offering gifts and others.
The accused was arrested based on the bank account and phone number details. The accused used to destroy the phone and SIM cards used by them during the commission of an offence.
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