Examining the relationships of 11 classic video game couples | Sidnaz Blog

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She’s a princess from a far-off kingdom whose major export appears to be extreme sports talent. He’s Mario’s shitty brother.

Do they spend a lot of time together? Decades’ worth, at this point: Daisy and Luigi were first paired up way back in 1991’s NES Open Tournament Golf, where she served as his caddy. (A subservient role her modern incarnation wouldn’t put up with for a minute.) As the go-to beta couple among the Mushroom Kingdom’s elite, the two are now regular partners in the Kingdom’s apparently endless series of sporting events and party games, presumably designed Hunger Games-style to distract downtrodden eyes from its deep institutional dysfunction.

Are they equal partners in the relationship? To be equal to Luigi would be to debase oneself.

Can they go the distance? Technically, they’re not even “dating”; the Super Smash Bros. games call out news of their relationship as mere rumors. They seem very stable in their whatever-this-thing-is, though; Luigi presumably knows he’s not going to do better, and Daisy seems content having a regular tennis partner/doormat on hand as needed.

Chemistry rating: ❤️❤️❤️

Look, we tried really hard to stay away from looking through any extra-horny fan fiction while writing these entries, but rest assured, Daisy and Luigi fuck, and when they do, it’s super intense, and it’s super gross.

God, why do we do this to ourselves?

Alternate chemistry rating: ❤️❤️❤️❤️ 

It’s always the quiet ones, right?

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